Worthless

Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps me going. My life is so imperfect. I have gained 7 pounds in the last month. I still haven't found a job and my two oldest children treat me like crap. There are times when I sit here at home and just sleep. I have been on interview after interview after interview with promises of call backs and 2nd and 3rd interviews, but never a hire. "Your qualifications and experience are impressive, however, we are going to continue our search for someone who we don't have to pay as much". "I don't see any reason why you wouldn't work out, other than the fact that I'm not sure if you quite fit with the culture of our company based on your pay history". No matter how hard I work and how much I impress them, they won't have me. Not working is not one of my strong suits. I feel totally worthless because I am not able to do what I love. It is frustrating and heartbreaking when your children don't respect you because you don't work. I don't have them on welfare and neither of them is homeless, but i'm not good enough or worthy of their respect because I don't have a job. Maurice tells me, "don't go signing up with a temp agency because they don't always assignments that last. Stop tripping off the small stuff, you are very talented and you have a lot of experience. Someone will hire you. When you were working you always made sure that I had money, so what makes you think that I won't be there for you. Let me take care of you". That is easier said than done. I am so used to taking care of everybody, I don't know how to let someone take care of me. I am miserable. I feel worthless.