Sea of Emotions

I step down into the water and the water is cold. I'm a pretty good swimmer, but I may need a life preserver for this plunge! I think I may be sinking to the bottom of this sea of unforseen events. I may actually be drowning. I dog paddle to the shallow side of the sea and try to sort out my feelings. What exactly am I feeling? What is the cost? My heart is heavy, I'm overwhelmed by the lack of love I receive. Why am I just now noticing that I don't feel as loved as I want to feel. Why is it now that I am noticing that he has been acting a little different. What kept me from noticing it all before? Oh no, I'm drifting back into the deep end. I know that there is a reason for everything that happens in ones life and I am sure that my questions will be answered soon enough. Why am I so eagar? Where will this go? Is it right? I know it's not, but I sure do want it to be. Where will I end up? Alone? I feel myself sinking again! There has got to be someone out there with my life vest. Are you out there? Are you gonna save me? I don't want to go like this. I have to keep my head above water but the current of this sea of emotions is pulling me under. Why can't I stay afloat? Please God, send me a life preserver. I must hold on a little while longer. I'm trying to swim back to the shallow end, but I'm making no progress. I'm sinking again. I just want to be happy! I want to make someone genuinely happy. How do I know if he really loves me. How do I know that he won't trade me in, as few have done in the past? How do I carry on like this? I'm sinking!